By Tayla Santos
I never thought I would actually write anything even close to this topic and even as I start this off now, I’m a little hesitant and cautious of my wording and sentence structure because I don’t want anything to come off in the wrong way. I want to be sure that I am delivering what it is I have to say in a way that it will be understood and received, in the way I am intending it to. However, if it is not taken in the way I intend it, let it be taken in however God can use it to better the reader. Ever since my last relationship ended, this topic has really been on my mind. However, please remember that this is MY view on Dating as a young Christian Woman. You can agree or disagree, but i’m going to try to back up what I say with Bible verses and Biblical research. I don’t want to sway anyone in the wrong direction so this is why I am using my own personal experiences to tell my point of view.
So why is this topic being placed under the “Faith” tab and not the “Lifestyle” tab? My dating life and my spiritual life are very much intertwined. Recently I learned that before I can even get involved in talking to a guy, going on dates, or even making myself “available”, I need to make sure I am confident and strong in my relationship with God, I am confident in myself and who I am, and I am confident in God’s plan for me and my future. I know what I stand for and why I stand for what I stand for. Because I feel this way I want to look for someone who not only believes in the same thing, but who fully, and just as confidently, shares the same beliefs, morals and values. [2Tim 2:22]
Something to keep in mind when it comes to “Dating as a Christian”, is that there really are no guidelines. There are no “10 commandments to dating”, and nothing in the Bible actually tells us how to date. Why is that? Because there was no dating in Biblical days. Remember? There were arranged marriages, and there were no if, ands, or buts about it. Even though we don’t have specific verses outlined in the Bible about dating, one that I really like to focus on is Mark 12:30.
I know this doesn’t really seem to say much about dating, but for me, it was everything I needed! God teaches us how to love and when looking for a strong and committed relationship, we should look at how Gods relationship with the church is. Before I can even think about getting back into dating, I need to make sure I have this verse DOWN! Although its a short verse, it is packed with so much that we need to know and live by. It’s the guidelines of what I want in a romantic relationship. I’m going to break something down and I want you, as you read it, to think about how what I’m saying also relates to finding and dating a significant other.
Going off of Mark 12:30, we learn that in loving God, he sees our soul. We hide our soul in him so we don’t have to hide anything, or feel the need to prove ourselves. He knows my mind, inside and out. I open my mind to learning more and more about him everyday. He captures my heart and I feel deep joy when I spend time with him. I put all my strength in his plan for me, looking to do whatever it takes to make him happy and fulfill his plan. Do we see how this coincides with being in a relationship?
I’ve been in the situation where I wasn’t actively open and honest with my faith. I didn’t talk about my faith, I wasn’t open about what my morals were and I didn’t bring up important conversations when they needed to be brought up because I was trying to avoid a conflict or argument. This wasn’t a good feeling, and I don’t want to get myself in another situation like this again. I realized that I needed to Bulletproof my relationship with God before I could start any relationships with anyone else.
Now I think it’s very important for me to point this out; I am not on here to tell you that if you are a Christian, you are only to date a Christian. Of course it would make it easier to keep and build on your faith if you had a significant other who could motivate you to get closer to God. However, my biggest point is to become strong enough in your own personal relationship with God. Do what you have to do to assure that your relationship between you and God is Bulletproof so that nothing can shake or break it, no matter what. When you have a bulletproof relationship like this, others will notice it and then, not only will you be ready and strong enough to start dating, but you will influence and inspire others to do the same.