Are you the Ghost or the Ghosted?
Okay ladies, we have some conversation that needs to be had, and it’s not the cutest topic; but first, a question. Are you the ghost or the ghosted? Are you one to disappear without warning from peoples lives, or are you the one to be left wondering and without answers?? Im not here to lie to you guys, I have definitely been a ghost before. Im not proud of it but it is what it is and I’m here to open up to you guys and share my story. I want to be clear about something though, ghosting isn’t just in romantic/dating situations. You can ghost a friend or even a relative and trust me, it can, and has happened. Sometimes not even on purpose.
Now, for those of you who are lucky enough to not know what ghosting is, I’m here to inform you that according to Urban Dictionary, ghosting is when “a person cuts off all communication with their friends OR the person they’re dating, with zero warning or notice before hand…avoiding phone calls, social media, and avoiding them in public.” Doesn’t sound like something you would really want to be a part of, does it? Now why would I openly admit that I have done this to someone? Because not only am I trying to be more open and honest on blog, but because we all have stuff in our pasts that we aren’t the proudest of.
So why did I ghost someone? This happened not so much on purpose but more so because I am terrible with communication and explaining how I feel. explaining my emotions is tough sometimes so I get through it by totally shutting it out and ignoring it and if a person has something to do with that, they will also be cut out and ignored. (I know, terrible.) Im trying to be better about it, I promise. In that last situation, it was just easier to cut off all communication and let everything die down. That doesn’t mean it was right though! I was terrible and in my opinion, being ghosted is 100000 times worse than being randomly broken up with. How did I come to this conclusion? Because I have also been ghosted! I have been on both sides of the ghost story.
So its a little weird for me to talk about this since it literally happened not even two weeks ago, but why not since its fresh in my memory. So this is how it went: Some one I was talking to (I’m not going to say any names, but this could be a family member, a friend, or a guy. go ahead and assume.) randomly cut off all communication. This person and I were starting to get closer. Hanging out a lot more, opening up about some personal stuff, and learning more about each other by talking every day. All of a sudden, it was as if I did something to offend them. They stopped all type of communication. no more phone calls, no more texts, no more face times, no more snaps. dead. For a whole (almost) two weeks. I texted them TWO days in a row with no response and then there was just silence from their end for just under two weeks…..
For me, two weeks is enough to be considered ghosted. Am I wrong?? Should I have let more time go back before I jumped to the conclusion that I was a victim of a ghost story?? How long is long enough? One week? Two weeks? A month?
Eh, either way I was flat out ignored for over a week and at that point I was telling myself that I didn’t want to force myself into someones life. If someone isn’t equally as interested or excited to talk to me as I am to talk to them, then I don’t want to fight for their attention. If I have to work three times harder to hang out with someone who doesn’t seem as determined to hang out with me, I don’t want to waste my time. Am I crazy for thinking like this? Maybe!
Hopefully this post can open up some healthy conversation. Let me know what you guys think in the comments below!