COVID-19 Thoughts – How I’m Feeling
So last night I was up till about 3am. My mind and my heart were racing. We are living through an epidemic guys! Seriously, just let that sink in for a second. Our world is getting shut down bit by bit, town by town and state by state. How scary is that? Things are rapidly changing all around us and we have very little, to not control.
There are so many different aspects and angles to how my mind is grasping this whole situation. There’s the positive outlook and then theres, of course, the negative thoughts that can sometimes cloud my brain.
This is obviously a great time to kind of refocus on myself physically, mentally and spiritually. We all still have 24 hours in a day so I’m really trying to make the most out of that time by…
- Spending more time in the word. Reading the Bible more, turning to the bible for inspiration and motivation is super enriching and I always feel like my mind is in a better place when I am focusing on building my relationship with God.
- Staying connected with the outside world. Yes, this is a fancy way of saying I’m staying active on social media. This actually helps me feel not so isolated from everything. Im not on it all day but I do check in and engage with peoples posts and comments throughout the day.
- Growing my Business. As some of you know, I did launch Tayla’s Closet Clothing Line this past month. So this is a great time to look into building and bettering my brand. Spending a lot of time on this for sure.
So yeah…Ive heard all the positive notes and how people are making the most out of this situation. I have even heard people talking about how the quarantine is actually helping economically. Venice’s canal waters are clearer and China has record breaking pollution cuts. Kind of makes me think that our world kind of needed this little break from us to heal a little.
Its been 5 days so far, and I hope that within the next 2 or 3 weeks I can get into the healthy routine of taking vitamins, my supplements, eating healthier and working out. It takes 7 days to create a habit, so let’s see!
Alright, so then theres obviously the negative side of my brain that brings all the bad and unwanted thoughts in at the worst times. I could be having a great day and then randomly my anxiety will kick in and i’ll have a fit because I cant tell if its actually anxiety, or shortness of breath (a symptom of the virus). Yeah, I know, i’m borderline crazy. (eye roll) A lot of times when I feel like this, I turn to the Bible. Im not sure if this actually helped this time, or made things worse.
I came across the scripture that talks about how if we are even upon epidemic, we must repent our sins and He will return our land to us. I guess in the end, we really just have to do our part but that seems so far out of reach when people, instead of spreading love and kindness, are spreading hate and cruelty.
There are people dressing up as State Officials, in hazmat suits going door to door and stealing from peoples house once they are let in. Then there are people who are blaming this entire virus on the Asian community, which is just so ignorant and repulsive! We should be coming together during a time like this seeing that this is a worldwide issue. We can not play the blame game. We don’t have time for that and its really not benefiting anyone or anything.
I also worry about my loved ones during this time! Seeing that I am very close to my grandparents, I worry about their health. They’re also the type of people that don’t really like to sit still, especially my grandfather. He loves to be out and about and gets antsy just staying in the house all day. He also (like me) loves being around family, and hates that his grandchildren aren’t visiting him during this time. Obviously we don’t want to visit him though because of the whole “super contagious” and “you may be carrying it and not even know” aspects of the coronavirus.
I do still live with my mom and siblings so at least we are all quarantined together. However, I dont live with my dad. He’s law enforcement, so its not like he can grab a laptop and work from home. He’s also a little bit of a skeptical person so I worry sometimes about how serious he’s taking all of this. I definitely pray for him many times throughout the day. I also call and check on him so I can to see if theres anything I can do for him. I guess thats the best I can do right??
Its crazy because I do feel so much better when I’m praying and talking to God, but then, the thought of this all being an act of God scares me so much. I know God doesn’t cause us any harm but It’s weird. So many things happening in our world right now point to what the Bible describes as the end of time. Am I wrong? The virus, all the deaths, the earthquake in Utah, the fires in California, the hate among our own people. It’s all so scary. I feel so powerless and so out of control.
I guess I will keep doing what I know I can. Wash my hands, stay away, keep my faith, pray, and try to spread as much love as I can from the comfort of my own home.
Let me know what your thoughts are, I would love to hear them and chat. Follow me on Instagram to keep up with my daily happenings.